does it ever get easier?

to look straight at your past and know for certain that you want things to have turned out the way it did?

how can it be?

that time doesn't make everything better.

i want my dreams to go away - they did, for a while. now they're back with a vengeance.

haunting teasing taunting.

from 5 years ago all the way till the last time we spoke.

why?

why is it that some people can let go... and others just remain stuck.

is it stupid, silly even, to read your blog in secret ever so often? to see white words on a white background?

i don't think i'll ever know if i made the right choice. but a choice has been made and the consequence is something that i will have to bear.

on the bright side - hey, i think you're leading an amazing fulfilling life and i think you wouldn't have done that if we were still together.

don't know if you'll even see this.

just another thing in my life i muck up beyond comprehension. how can one person have so much guilt over one decision?

someone, anyone. please?



p.s. how ironic is it that the only song you've ever put up for me (i hope) is from the first musical i've ever watched? and it was with you, of course.